One elderly lady has plaints about married life of a daughter and inquiry about how to approach sanayaasa. Swamiji writes on the practicalities.
This humble soul is very happy to listen to your discourse in Asianet on daily basis. I am able to read Bhāgavatam (Moolam) daily 2/3 chapters with Lord's blessings. I have a family consisting of 2 daughters (Married) and husband.
Unfortunately my first daughter is unable to live with her husband due to his bad habits. She has a son of one year. My ambition is to go for sannyāsam and have lost interest in any materialistic achievements now. But one thing what I am not able to do is the Meditation. Can you kindly guide me to achieve my goal Swamiji?
By touching your feet....
Poojya Swamiji Replies:
Dear and blessed J.,
In the case of a couple, your first and the last objective should be to leave the subject to themselves and make them responsible for whatever decision they take. As a wife, anyone has the moral responsibility of trying to help the husband in getting mended – the husband may not sit cross legged before the wife to say “I learn from you and I obey you”, but he will certainly learn and mould himself. The same applies to the wife also.
In our society, whatever we may say, it is still a male dominated society. I would put it in another manner. All people in this world are born of women – so any women is man plus – let your daughter understand this. It is for her to think of her husband as a son and the child as the second child. This attitude will change her psychology and she will be able to accept many things which she will not otherwise be able to. Let her approach the subject with this new insight of assimilation on the one hand and tolerance and sublimation on the other.
Suppose, inspite of all this, there is a failure, then it is for them to decide what they will make of their life. You should not be concerned about it. Your concern will be only when she seeks your support after coming home. As long as you interfere and going on speaking to her this and that, there will only be problem. They are adults and let them be responsible, I am telling you this with my experience, insight and also my spiritual role as a guide. We should not make big of everything, instead we should make everything light and simple.
As regards the next point. To become a sannyāsin is of course an ideal of all humans, we have got four āshramas – brahmacharya, gārhastya, vānaprastha and sannyāsa. All the four are meant for all. Unfortunately people end up their life with householderhood. They should also undertake vānaprastha and sannyāsa. So I always tell from my platform, that all of you think that you have fulfilled your life and its role, in reality all of you are going to die half humans, not full humans.
J., while this is true – sannyāsa is not a sudden development. It may be true when it is due and when it arrives, but till then develop the spiritual sannyāsa in you which means avoiding any delusional clinging with anybody, with anything. This is certainly possible. Start practicing it.
About meditation, I generally give dīkśa to people, it is actually a Brahmavidya dīkśa for Self-Realization. Obviously I cannot give it to one and all, those people who know me, whom I also know. If they finally feel that dīkśa is necessary then only it can be considered. Otherwise I generally only explain about meditation. Keeping this in mind, this is what I have to say:
Meditation is an exclusive mental act. In meditation, nothing other than the mind should be employed. What I would like you to do as a precursor is this. Close the door, sit in a room, on an āsana specially meant for the purpose, sit cross-legged, interlock your fingers and place them on your lap. Sit as far erect as possible without straining. Close your eyes. Then, go on observing the mind processes. Whatever thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories and the rest comes – just be aware of them then and there. I don’t want you to do anything more than being aware of. Don’t follow any thought, don’t feel bad about any thought. Allow the whole process as a process. Just like water will be bubbling on the oven, similarly let the mind bubble, simply observe it, observe it. I only want you to be conscious of whatever is going on right then and there, not after a second. Do this.
In other words one part of the mind should go on observing the rest of the mind and the processes. Maximum 25 minutes you sit like that. Meanwhile you will find the entire process has become weaker and lighter - YOUR MIND HAS become stronger. Get up wash your face, put on your tilak and get on to days’ activity. Do the same thing over again next day and do it for about 7 or 10 days then let me know. This is the first part, you can do in meditation.